Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
