There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
