Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
