office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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