You're my little dorito
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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