Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
