You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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