Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
