He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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