Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
