Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
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