does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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