I am puke
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
