i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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