i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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