I'm drive I can fine osifer
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
