bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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