do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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