I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
nutella sex= disaster
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
