Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize