i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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