You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
