we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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