32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
