THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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