And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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