I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
