We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
