spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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