But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
