Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
