we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
