SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
