no, he came in my armpit
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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