I am puke
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize