omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
