thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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