you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he thought i was a dude.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
