oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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