Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize