i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
