it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
