So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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