Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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