babies were throwing up all over the place
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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