wat bout pragnant strippers??
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
