I got chris browned last night
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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