am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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