We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
