I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
