Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
