I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
