You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
