I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
