Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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