i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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