...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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