My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
