Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
