we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
