i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
