I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
